I've been toying with the idea of starting an art journal for ages. Part of what's been stopping me is startitis and part of it is a the very stupid fear of doing it wrong. Rationally I know that there is no penalty for ugly art. No one is going to take my children away or foreclose on my house because my art journalling is dumbass. I think it's the ingrained training from years of Catholic school that keeps getting in my way. There was a right and wrong way to do things and when I did things the wrong way there was always some sort of penalty. It has taken me a long time to wriggle out of those constraints and to understand that mistakes aren't fatal or indications of anything wrong with me. I don't know who said it or where I heard it first but hearing "Mistakes happen. That's why pencils have erasers." was very liberating to me.
I've come a long way since High School, (it was an all girls Catholic high school :::shudder:::) and I can start things now without having to know every single step I'm going to take from beginning to end. I can let go enough, most of the time, to just see where an experience or experiment is going to take me. Most people who achieve anything worthwhile didn't know how they were going to get from where they were to where they wanted to be. Learning that freed me up quite a bit. And yet, when I start something, or contemplate starting something, completely new to me, or outside my comfort zone, the old what-if-I-do-it-wrong monster rears her ugly head.
To complicate things even more, the only time I ever kept a journal was in Freshman year religion class. It was part of the curriculum and it was graded. Looking back on that now I'm stunned that anyone would think that was a good idea. How on earth are you supposed to open up and express yourself if someone is going to grade you on it? A journal is supposed to be private. It's supposed to be a safe place to vent, ponder, complain, dream and wonder about all that is. How can you do that if you know someone is going to judge it and perhaps find it wanting? What were they thinking? It would be like standing in front of the class, naked, while they all voice their opinions of your body.
Anyway, Michelle Ward, whose work I love, has posted her Crusade for February. She calls it Pandora's Box. Participants are invited to make a journal kit. Pandora let all the evils of mankind out of the box, but managed to close the box before Hope escaped. So the box is full of hope. I like that idea. 
Michelle's reasoning is that it will be much easier to keep a journal, no matter how artsy you choose to make it, if you have all the stuff in one place. You can get as elaborate as you like but that sometimes get in the way of creativity.
I kept it sort of simple: colored pens, water soluble oil pastels, my little travel box of watercolors, glue sticks, a package of ephemera from Silver Crow and of course a blank journal.
The colored pens are a reaction to Catholic school. We were only allowed to use blue or black ink and in grammar school they insisted on cartridge pens. I like cartridge pens but now I fill them with green ink. They do make beautiful marks on the paper and make you be more careful about how you write. I didn't appreciate that as much when I was twelve. I did love it when a friend of mine discovered turquoise ink from Schaeffer and we could use that at school. I felt like such a rebel.
I've also included scrap art from different experiments I've done. The angel is a photo of a cemetary monument printed with an inkjet printer and covered with gel medium. The watercolor sketch is one of my very first attempts. It's Pook wading into Lake Wawayanda. There are also scissors and the foil I took off the last can of coffee I opened. It's got a nice heft to it and I have no idea what I might use it for but I threw it in there anyway.
More bits and bobs: a stamped, embossed and colored piece that never got used as originally intended; there are a few sandwich baggies with blank paper tags; double stick tape; an ink pad to use with the number stamps and a set of Inktense pencils.
I guess I'm all set now. I am a little nervous about this but I'm going to do it anyway. To take the pressure off I've mentally committed myself to just journalling for the month of March. How hard can that be? And because I am the person I am and when I want to learn something I find a book on the subject, I went and got this:
Okay. Here we go.
By the way, I'm not promising to post any of these journal pages. I might post them but then again, I might not. It all depends on how naked it makes me feel. You understand.
