Coneflower Ranch

Happy New Year!

So here we are again. At the beginning. Even though I know it's arbitrary, and that any day on the calendar can be a new beginning, there is something about January. I think it could be the collective energy of everyone agreeing that this is the beginning of the year. It could be the collective feeling of relief now that the pressure of the holidays has been released. Whatever it is I feel motivated to start fresh and at the same time I feel the desire to hibernate. Together these two things manifest as nesting. The cold and dark of winter here in the Northeast keeps me close to home. Spending so much time indoors has me examining my surroundings and I find myself dissatisfied with what I see. More than that I actually want to do something about it.

We've lived here for ten years now. The people we bought this house from did nothing to it. When we moved in there was still a wallpaper mural from the early 70's on the wall of our dining room glued in place above a wood paneling attempt at wainscoting. All the rooms were like that. Nothing had been updated since before Carter left the White House. It took over a year to undo the ickiness partly because it was so time consuming in itself and partly because I had little babies underfoot. It was discouraging to remove wallpaper in the bathroom and discover it had been used to hide gaping holes in the sheetrock. Every room took weeks of prep work and several coats of paint. We went through pounds of spackle and the end result was less than thrilling. Buying the house took all our money and the mortgage was a big portion of our monthly expenses. There wasn't a lot left to spend on repairs and updates. We did what we could but it has always felt temporary.

Time has moved on and the mortgage no longer eats every other dollar we earn. Little by little we've started repairing and updating the important things. We got a new roof five years ago. Expensive and not at all sexy but oh so necessary. I even invited some friends over to stand on the lawn with me, drink tea and admire the new roof. We replaced the windows in all the bedrooms and the bathroom three years ago. It was always a bit unnerving to take a shower next to a window that was iced over on the inside. This year we are tackling the exterior doors and maybe some more windows. Again, not all that sexy but it will be nice to sit on the sofa and not have a breeze blowing on my neck from the closed windows.

As I was thinking about new windows in the living room it dawned on me that the paint job is nearly ten years old. I looked around the house and it all looked like it needed to be freshened up. For the first time in a long time I actually feel like doing something about it. I don't make New Year's resolutions. Instead I set goals for the year. Some years they are ambitious some years not so much. This year I'm giving my home a makeover. Not a big remodel or anything but it's time to toss what no longer serves or inspires and make color choices that make me happy and liven up the living spaces.

I have no idea what that will look like.

Where was I?

Oh! That's right. When last we spoke I was promising to post more. I screwed that up didn't I.

Reintegrating my husband into our lives was a bit more challenging than I thought it would be. "Reintegrating" is what the Army calls it. They hosted "Reintegration Weekends" so we could get to know each other again. Dennis and I took advantage of one of those weekends together. It was somewhat useful. Nothing can really prepare you for the upheaval that is a combat zone deployment and the eventual return from it but the Army tried. I'll give them that. A "Here's What You're In For" weekend before he deployed would have been better.

Things were different when he came home. He was different. I was different. We expected changes but neither of us really knew what changes we were expecting. It has taken six months to wiggle back into the groove we had going before he left. Things are good again. They were never terrible; they were just weird.

On the creative front: I finished those Noro socks I started last summer. They took forever and came out a bit wonky. It's entirely due to the tendonitis. As I recovered my gauge improved.

I've worn them and washed them a few times since this photo was taken and they have evened out a bit. I think I will keep them as they are instead of ripping them out and starting over. They are kind of symbolic of the wonkiness that was my life this past year or so. That has evened out too.

Happy New Year!!

Every year we watch The Muppets Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve. It is one of the best versions of the story that I have seen. Of course my lifelong affection for the Muppets may be coloring my judgement. Part of the charm comes from the humor inherent in all the Muppets productions and part is that it's a musical. There is something so endearing about fuzzy little creatures singing; especially sweet little frogs. Bless us one and all in the New Year.

Spreading my wings ... a little

 

For the first time in twenty-one years I spent the night completely alone. Well, except for the cats, I was completely alone. All of my children were sleeping elsewhere and my husband is still off getting his urban warfare merit badge.

It was sort of weird but kind of familiar. I used to live alone after all. Except for the cats I had back then, I was completely alone.

There are changes that come on gradually and it's only in retrospect that you see the beginning. Then there is the night you find yourself alone for the first time in years and it's obviously the beginning of something new.

*the photo is from commons.wikimedia I'd love to give credit to the photographer but I couldn't figure out who it was from the listing.

Things I did while I ignored you

Grandma turned Ninety!

Okay that's not something I actually did but I did help her celebrate. The whole family did in fact. Grandma has nine children. Each of them is married and together they gave Grandma twenty-nine grandchildren. In this less than flattering photo she is flanked by her two favorite first grandchildren, myself and my older cousin, Bill. As you can see some of the grandchildren are quite grown and we've produced about thirty great-grandchildren. (It may be more like thirty-two but I've lost track). Anyway, just about all of us took over a resort in Pennsylvania for a family reunion/Grandma's Birthday party. All but two rooms at Lukan's Farm were taken up by members of my family. I highly recommend it. The place was nice, the food was great and having days to spend reaquainting yourself with your family is more relaxing than I would have thought.

In order to keep track of us all we wore colored T-shirts with numbers on the back. Since Bill's dad was Grandma's first child all the people related to him had navy blue shirts with a number one on the back. My mom is child number two so we all wore maroon shirts with number twos on the back. And yes, after a few glasses of wine there were rousing cries of "We're number two! We're number two!" Yep, after a few glasses of wine we can be proud of anything.

Grandma, as always, looked fabulous. In my entire life I've seen the woman in blue jeans exactly once. She wore them for working in her garden. Truth of it is she had a gardening outfit. I'll never forget it. I was a teenager and spending a week with her and Grandpa at their house on Long Island. She comes out of the garage in blue jeans, a button down blouse, gloves and a hat. All coordinated, of course. So, it's no surprise that she had a different outfit for dinner each night and while the rest of us dressed down with T-shirts and whatnot she had sandals to go with her skirt.

Grandma's a good sport too.